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Fucking Curveballs

 Welp today was definitely an interesting, heartbreaking day. Never knew that someone who played me could hurt me so. LoJ as I spoke about in my last post finally got back to me today aftet leaving me on read for days. And this time I found the truth. He never had feelings for me, he never wanted more from me. I was the easiest and most available person for sex that was around and he knew i wouldnt tell him no. He said he didnt even find me attractive. Well I mean no duh dude. Im a single mom to 2 kids, meaning me time, personal time, is not an option. I know im not the best nor most attractive person around. I know I struggle with losing weight and getting my pre-pregnancy body back. I know my teeth are broken (due to a genetic disorder, not any type of drug use or neglect). Ive got stretch marks, I've got scars, I've got bruises and scrapes. I'm rough around the edges in more ways then one. Whats funny is I realized today that I'm really not too upset by it because se...
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Older Men and Yet I'm the Childish One

 The title speaks for itself honestly. Ever since I was 15 I've had this attraction to men older then me. My first ever boyfriend was 5 years older then me, being 20 years old at the time to my 15 years of age. It was allowed due to parental consent but I really wish my parents would've disagreed more, but that is a story for another time. Nine years ago at the age of 18 I met my neighbors son for the first time. He was 19 years older then me, successful, and overall attractive. What started out as us just talking when I went over his moms house, ended up with us having an intimate fling for a week or so before he left to continue his life where he lived. I had no contact with him after he left. Here I am 9 years later, just turned 27, divorced for 2 years, raising 2 young children by myself and he shows up again out of the blue. He came into my place of employment and I ended up reaching out to him through social media. We agreed to meet up at a local bar and just see what hap...
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Pilot

 I dont know honestly why I chose Pilot as a title for this. I think in many ways it reminds me of a first, such as the first episode to a new tv show. I was sitting here thinking I wanted to create a place where I can write about many things rather they're things I've gone through or things I'm currently going through, while still remaining anonymous.  I was born 27 years ago. 27 years I've been here, and have gone through so much that it's hard to believe sometimes that this is my life. For many of the challenges I've endured, I can truthfully and honestly say I've never given in.  We all face different challenges in life, from the time we're a child to the time we're an adult. This blog is a way for me to discuss some of those challenges and hopefully help others who are going through them or have been through them. This isn't going to be pretty, it isnt going to be happy smiles, butterflies, and rainbows. This is going to be the darkest truth...
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